smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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