Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
