Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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