those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
