Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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