I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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