Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
