omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
