Whod you bang
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize