i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
