after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize