Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
