Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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