And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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