carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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