Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
