What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
