I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
