would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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