Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
