if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
