I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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