Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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