I need help removing her.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
