Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
