i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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