Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I am naked and annoyed.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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