How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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