I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
