When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
