He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
