I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
