One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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