Christians are straight up FREAKS
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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