The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
