I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just pee around me
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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