I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
