Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
