If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
