Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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