A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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