help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
