I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
