Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
