She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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