I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
