u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
