Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
