none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Alive.
So much puke
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
