dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
