No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
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