ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he puts the penis in happiness.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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