Banned from zoo.
Again?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
