I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
