Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
