i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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