I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
