she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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