I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
