i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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