I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
