you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You pole danced in your parka.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
